Darkness, Revisited
by Majin Vegeta
Summary: This is the first ever humor fanfic combined with angst...well, not really. This is a story by me, so how angsty could the thing be? Not really...it's mostly stupid. Yep, the dumbest story I ever wrote. Don't let that stop ya from reviewing it though!


Darkness, Revisited  
By:Majin Vegeta (who has dubbed himself the king of a small third world  
country that nobody cares about)  
  
Well the title may sound dark and depressing and stuff but it is meant  
to be like that. This is probably one of the rarest pieces of fanfic  
literature you can find anywhere, because it's a dash of angst and a  
large amount of insane comedy, along with several series stirred in.  
Then it was heated at a nice 460 degrees and vola! Maybe it should be  
called an angstedy then? I like the sound of that, angstedy. Say it to  
yourself a few times before reading on! I'll give you a few  
moments...........there. Now read on. Haha, angstedy, American Comedy  
Awards here I come!   
  
Disclaimer:The person, places, things, ideas, and other non-nouns are  
the property of whoever wants to own them, ok? Geez man, don't get so  
uptight!  
  
Warning:A large dose of angstedy (haha!) is bad for you. Please take it  
in small doses or else you will explode and die.   
  
~~~~~~Dragonball Z~~~~~~  
  
Day 1:  
  
It was an exceptionally stormy day outside the Capsule Corp today. This  
was because a fanfic author (who isn't me ^_^) was making life miserable  
and depressing for the residents of the building. They did this because  
he or she (and possibly it) had no life at all. A thunderbolt flew  
through the air, soon the loud crackle of lightning followed. With a  
shock (PZZT ^_^), Vegeta got up. The noise was quite annoying and he  
couldn't take the horrible writing skills of the current fanfic author.  
  
So, Vegeta went to the fanfic author's house and killed them and the  
Dragonball Z world lived happily ever after. Well that is....until  
another stupid author decided to make life miserable for the residents  
of the Capsule Corp once again.  
  
Day 2:  
  
Today the Capsule Corp was flooded several times by high tsunamis. The  
residents of the house were all soaked and wet and soon Vegeta got out  
of bed and snapped. He hated this author's poor writing skills even more  
than the first ones. "I'll kill them all!" Vegeta shouted as he powered  
up drastically, "Every one of them!". Soon afterwards the Saiyajin  
Prince destroyed millions of bad fanfic author's houses, hoping he  
killed them all he went back to bed for the day.  
  
But of course everyone wasn't dead, they couldn't be. Not if this fic  
was supposed to be funny! Majin would have the head of the person who  
stopped his precious angstedy (Haha angstedy...funny!) right here. So  
oddly enough, the fic continued on with seemingly no plot for a while.  
  
Day 3-Day 58:  
  
Nothing happened on these days because no plot was made for them.  
  
Day 59:  
  
Today Vegeta killed off Goku for no real reason at all. Maybe it was to  
keep the fic angsty or something.  
  
Day 60:  
  
Goku got wished back by Bulma and somehow Chichi went crazy and turned  
SSJ3 and pounded the crap out of Vegeta. Needless to say, Vegeta got the  
crap beaten out of him and Chichi eventually killed him.  
  
Day 61:  
  
Vegeta got wished back today. The DBZ cast decided to vote Chichi out of  
the fanfic.   
  
Day 62  
  
Today Vegeta voted off everyone in the fic and took over the world. He  
did this with the help of two little white mice who want to remain  
nameless.   
  
Day 63-Day 99:  
  
Nothing important happened except for the fact that Vegeta now owned the  
entire world and several other planets. But like I said, nothing  
important happened.  
  
Day 100:  
  
Everyone died under Vegeta's harsh leadership, even Vegeta himself for  
some odd reason. And thus the DBZ section if the fic had ended.  
  
~~~~~~Tenchi~~~~~~  
  
Day 1:  
  
It was a normal day at the Masaki residence, at least if you consider a  
volcanic eruption normal. It seemed that some incredibly bad author  
named Krackhead420 had the bright idea of making yet another lemon. This  
caused the Japanese government as well as a supernatural force above  
(that can only be identified as.....me ^_^) to go crazy and cause these  
very eruptions. After all if there was no Masaki residence then there  
wouldn't be any crappy lemons to make. Sure it would have been easier to  
take out the author but for some reason he wasn't taken out.  
  
On this particular 'lovely' morning Tenchi was sleeping in his bed. That  
is, he was sleeping until his daily 'wake up call' from Ryoko.  
"Ryoko!!!!!" Tenchi shouted out.  
  
"Yes Tenchi?" Ryoko asked.  
  
But then something strange happened, Tenchi started kissing Ryoko  
passionately for no real reason at all. The powers of Krackhead420 were  
starting to take over and a horrible Ryoko-Tenchi lemon (that is ripe  
for MSTing ^_^) begun. But thanks to the powers of the supernatural  
forces above, nobody had to see the monstrosity that is a bad lemon.  
Other then this little event the day was uneventful and boring.  
  
Day 2:  
  
It was a fine day at the Masaki residence. At least it was better than  
yesterday. Instead of a volcanic eruption though it was raining acid  
outside. Apparently the Japanese government and the supernatural force  
above still hadn't dispatched of the evil lemon author of doom. Soon  
after Ayeka destroyed that said evil lemon author because of that evil  
little Ryoko-Tenchi thing he/she/it did. Anyway, that was the only  
thing that was interesting for the day.  
  
Day 3:  
  
Sasami decided to enter the cast into a game show called the 'Weakest  
Link' that would be on day 7. Everyone thought it was an excellent idea.  
They all figured that Washu would win the money because of her mad  
science skillz.  
  
Day 4-Day 6:  
  
Kagato attacked the Masaki 'family' yet again and he lost. Tenchi lost  
the Tenchi-ken in a carrot field. Washu installed mines in the said  
carrot field, some how Tenchi escaped with his life. Ryoko did Ryoko-ey  
stuff. Ayeka complained at least five times about the Ryoko-Tenchi lemon  
that happened a few days ago but no one really cared. Sasami cooked some  
food. Ryo-ohki 'meowed' a few times. Mihoshi destroyed several homes by  
accident. Kiyone lectured Mihoshi a few times and ended up paying all  
the bills for the damage she caused. Everyone else did things that were  
boring and unimportant.  
  
Day 7:  
  
Today was the day the Tenchi cast went on the 'Weakest Link'. How they  
got to the NBC Studios in time is secret, but when they got there they  
were surprised to see that it was a gimmick. There wasn't anyone there  
at all. So, they played anyway with Ayeka as the host. By the first  
round Ayeka was voted out as the weakest link even though she was the  
host, Ryoko took her spot. In the second round Tenchi was voted out as  
the weakest link because he was just an idiot who could have had any of  
the drop dead gorgeous women around him 24/7 but chose Sakuya instead.  
After several other grueling rounds, it was down to just Washu and  
Ryo-ohki. A strange power sent them all back home before they could  
finish the game and the day ended.  
  
Day 8-Day 89:  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Day 90:  
  
Pioneer and AiC decided to introduce a completely new character into the  
show. The character's name was Moko-ohki and it resembled Mokona from  
Magic Knight Rayearth except in a cabbit form. The rest of the cast  
revolted and ended up killing Moko-ohki.  
  
Day 91-Day 98:  
  
Days passed by.  
  
Day 99:  
  
Ryoko killed Ayeka and took Tenchi for her own. A better Tenchi-Ryoko  
lemon was written and everyone rejoiced.  
  
Day 100:  
  
Ryoko and Tenchi got married today. Also, the cast found out that  
Ryo-ohki was really Satan in disguise and she ended the world promptly.  
The Tenchi section of the fic then ended.   
  
~~~~~~Final Fantasy 4(2), 6(3), 7, 8, 9, and Tactics)~~~~~~   
  
Day 1:  
  
The casts of FF4, FF6, FF7, FF8, FF9, and FFT were all sitting around  
the town of Midgar for no real reason at all. For some odd reason the  
casts were arguing over who should be president of Midgar. The choices  
were as follows: Goblez (FF4), Kefka (FF6), Sephiroth (FF7), Edea (FF8),  
Kuja (FF9), Orlandu (FFT), and a chocobo. Naturally everyone voted for  
the Chocobo. Chaos followed into the next day.  
  
Day 2:  
  
The president of Midgar, Mister Choco the Chocobo, was overthrown by a  
rebel group known as SOLIDER-SeeDs (why that name was chosen is anyone's  
guess). The SOLIDER-SeeDs then put Cid in office. Much confusion was  
caused because of the habit of Squaresoft naming characters Cid. So the  
insane Kefka killed all the other Cids except for Cid Highwind from FF7.  
The new president of Midgar was as bad mannered as any modern day  
president was. Nobody noticed the political disaster yet.  
  
Day 3:  
  
Well instead of a political disaster occurring a natural disaster did.  
(In order to keep the angstedy flowing, of course!) The great Chicago  
fire just happened to occur, even though this wasn't Chicago. Some say  
that Majin was playing SimCity 2000 during the time of this fire. They  
say he developed the city of Midgar on it and then decided to destroy it  
for no reason. That was the reason for the fire. But thanks to the wise  
president of Midgar (and Cid too ^_^) the fire was put out by firemen.  
There was much rejoicing, at least until Kuja decided to take the  
presidency. And that he did, he just killed Cid in his sleep and vola,  
President Kuja! It was simply marvelous! Remember that political  
disaster I was talking about before? Well, it started to become more  
noticeable now.  
  
Day 4:  
  
Political unrest occurred. Today, President Kuja ordered Zidane and  
Quina to clean his boat, Seaforce 2. They refused and Kuja killed them.  
Soon after he went to get a cup of tea and play chess with his new  
rent-a-friend Ramza. They had a jolly good time!  
  
Meanwhile Sephiroth was getting annoyed by this new president. He was  
worse then the Chocobo and Cid combined! So he decided to hire some  
assassins. He could have killed Kuja himself, but he was too cool to do  
so. Anyway, Sephy-sama hired the useless siblings, the Heaven and Hell  
Knight (I forget their names) from Final Fantasy Tactics. They were  
dispatched to kill Kuja and that they did. They killed Kuja using their  
useless "randomly hitting the hex" attacks, but they didn't kill Ramza.  
Ramza killed them and there was more rejoicing. Soon Sephiroth decided  
to take over Kuja's job and he killed Ramza and became the president of  
Midgar.  
  
Day 5-Day 95:  
  
Midgar was happy under the leadership of the great President Sephiroth.  
Sure, he did randomly kill of characters because he felt like it. And  
heck, he killed off tons of serpents in the nearby lake but he was the  
president, he could do whatever the heck he wanted to!   
  
Meanwhile, the insane Kefka was hatching a plan to overthrow President  
Sephiroth. His plan included beer, whip cream, a pool of acid, and a  
large vat of butter. He told his plan to the last remaining survivors of  
Midgar (Barret, Cecil, Sabin, Beowulf, Cait Sith, Vivi, and Irvine) but  
nobody understood it. Since he couldn't find anyone to understand his  
insane plan, Kefka killed off the last remaining survivors of Midgar. He  
then hatched his crazy plan and managed to get Sephiroth drunk (that's  
what the beer was for ^_^) and proceeded to feed him large amounts of  
whip cream dipped in butter. Soon Sephiroth was so drunk from the  
alcohol and fat from the food that he didn't have any touch of reality.  
Kefka proceeded to dip him in the acid pool and kill him off. Kefka  
became the president of Midgar.  
  
Day 96-Day 99:  
  
President Kefka ruled Midgar insanely, not like it matters because there  
was *no one* left to rule.  
  
Day 100:  
  
A frog invasion over took Midgar and they managed to kill off Kefka.  
That ends the Final Fantasy section of the fic!   
  
~~~~~~Slayers~~~~~~  
  
Day 1:  
  
The Slayers and my favorite Mazoku Lord, Fibrizo, were sitting around a  
campfire eating marshmallows. Everyone had a very fun time, even  
Zelgadis managed to do so somehow. However, there was something rather  
annoying with the picture here, Amelia and her constant justice  
speeches. So, they started formulating a plot to cease the constant  
speeches of justice and such. (Oddly enough, Filia joined in this as  
well....just because I felt like making her OOC) It may be considered  
unjust that her friends are doing this, but all of the Slayers (*and*  
Fibby-chan cause he's just so good at being so gosh darn evil ^_^) came  
up with the fiendish plan to stop Amelia and her speeches.  
  
DUM DUM DUM!  
  
Day 2:  
  
The fiendish plan of fiendishness was unleashed today. It's true! Yep  
yep, Amelia was never going to speak again because....her mouth was  
tapped shut. Okay so the plan wasn't entirely all that fiendish, Gourry  
came up with most of it anyway.   
  
Anyway, the Slayers and Fibby-chan all went on their merry way. They  
sure were happy because they didn't have to here one justice speech from  
Amelia all day. Later, in the night, the group settled down at the same  
exact camp site they were at a night before. They ate marshmallows just  
like before. Hell, it was the same scene as before. It costs too much  
money for Majin to make a whole new scene. Anyway, something horrible  
was brewing. It was so horrible, so deadly, so evil that....the name  
could hardly be uttered. In fact, it's *so* horrible that you have to  
read into the next scene just to find out.  
  
Day 3:  
  
After the repeat scene of the camp fire from before, the Slayers slept  
and then they woke up. All of them soon went on their way, going to the  
town of Turnaroundtown. Of course, none of them knew the horror they  
were about to face in the nicely named town of Turnaroundtown. It took  
them awhile, but they finally got to this town and they all split up.  
Lina and Gourry went off to the local restaurant, Zelgadis went off to  
the local library, Filia wandered around town, Xelloss teleported into  
some tree and did some secret stuff, Fibrizo went home to hell because  
it was right around the corner of Turnaroundtown, and Amelia went to a  
damp, eerie forest.   
  
Amelia tried to say to herself but her mouth was still taped. The forest  
was so damp and eerie that to go into detail would mean emotional scars  
for life. Anyway, Amelia could soon see several pairs of red glowing  
eyes peering out of the bushes. It was too late however, and soon Amelia  
died by some horrible beings.  
  
Day 4:  
  
The next day, everybody looked for Amelia but she was no where to be  
found. So, they just went on their way and figured she'd come to them  
soon enough. Due to lack of money once again, they all repeated the  
scene from yesterday and headed back to Turnaroundtown. They all did the  
exact same thing once again.  
  
Meanwhile in that damp, eerie forest, those pairs of red glowing eyes  
peered out of the bushes did so again. This time however, they came out  
of the bushes. A small beam of light shone on one of the figures, only  
to reveal a tall, purple haired woman with a skimpy leather outfit on.  
All of the other figures were identical. That's right, it was the Nahga  
clones from the "Scary Chimera Plan" OVA episode. Apperantly, Amelia  
died from the horrid laughing of all ten clones at once. The Nahga  
clones marched on the town of Turnaroundtown and started laughing their  
"AHOHOHOHOHOHO" all around the town, killing the poor people of the  
town. (Including the Slayers.)  
  
Day 5:  
  
Ummmm...nothing happened since our heroes were basically all dead.  
  
Day 6-Day 99:  
  
Ditto.  
  
Day 100:  
  
Today a random character summoned Dark Star and destroyed the entire  
world.  
  
****THE END****  
  
That's right, the ending is now! Soooooo, how did all y'all like my  
little angstedy hmmmm? I bet you all thought humor/angst would never  
work together huh? Well, I'd have to agree, it doesn't work at all.  
Anyway, reviews would be very good. 


End file.
